3 Disadvantages of Criticizing Others

Don’t you hate it when people criticize you? I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve let myself get annoyed with people who are overly critical.

When somebody harps on you, judges you, condemns you, disapproves of you, rejects you, withdrawals their confidence from you, it can be extremely painful. Not only can criticism eat away at your self confidence, it can cause you to be offended by the criticizer, and put you on the defensive to justify your behavior.

Here are the three main disadvantages of mindlessly criticizing others:

1. Hurts another’s pride

Let me tell you a story about one of my former bosses. This is a totally extreme example to show you how bad criticism can be.

When I first started college, I worked at Taco Bell to pay the bills. The boss over the entire store was known for being one of the most critical and least friendly bosses. He would demoralize us by criticizing our work in totally uncool ways.

For instance, if we weren’t making Tacos fast enough, he would say that his Grandma could move faster than us. If we didn’t know how to do something, he would question our brain cell count. If we had to take a day off work, he would question our loyalty to the team.

The constant hounding really worked on people, and made them feel worthless. The pride in their work slipped, and they felt as if their work didn’t matter.

When people criticize us, it can eat at our pride and confidence in ourselves.

2. Causes resentment

When we feel that someone else is trying to put us down, it causes us to resent that person.

In my year and a half of working at the store the only positive comment I heard about the boss was that he “ran a tight ship, and got results.”

Surely, that was true. The store was the top in the district, and it’s where they sent managers from around the area to get trained.

But at what cost?

Ask anybody that worked for him, and they’ll say that he was one of the meanest, rudest, uncaring, and hurtful individuals that they had ever met. Sometimes he would even be sexist, and tell the women that they were “too slow,” to move over and let a real man do the job the way it was meant to be done.

I mean, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Many of the workers were too scared to say anything to his face. But behind his back everyone talked about what a jerk he was, and how much they couldn’t stand working for him. My co-workers and I prayed for the day we could find another job and get out.

The fact is, when other people criticize us, it’s easy to resent them and not have consideration for them. Anyone that attempts to devalue us, deflate us, depress us is going to take us away from what we really want: significance and approval.

3. Puts other on defensive

If we are criticized, and have the will to stand up to the other person, it puts us on the defensive and causes us to justify why we act the way we do.

By all accounts, some of the workers were slow at preparing the food. And, indeed they were purposefully slow because of all the harsh put-downs that the boss had slung their way. So when it came time for him to criticize them again, they would begin to justify why they were so slow:

“If only you’d pay me more, maybe you’d get more work out of me.”

“You’re not moving so fast yourself. Why should I move any faster?”

“You make me this way with all of your comments.”

“What about you? You’ve been sitting in the office all day.”

And so on.

Even though the time to get the food out was becoming horrendously slow, the workers felt they had no other choice but to justify their actions. They were, essentially, defending themselves against being devalued anymore.

As a result, the whole store suffered. The times of getting food out suffered. The quality of the food suffered. The relationships in the store suffered.

The criticism that was so generously dished out served to spin the store into a negative and unrewarding work environment. People stopped caring, and started complaining and criticizing back.

If we’re not careful, other people’s harsh criticisms can cause us to abandon our values and fight back with harsh criticisms of our own. We have to be careful to guard ourselves against becoming just like the unnecessarily critical people.

Your Turn: Have you ever been criticized to the point where you let the other person get under your skin? How did it feel? Are you proud of your reaction? What do you think is the best way to deal with people who are overly critical, and downright hurtful?

Have You Tracked Your Spending?

It’s an important question to answer. Tracking your spending may seem simple, but it can make a big difference in your personal finance. The sad truth is that many people don’t realize they are having financial problems until it’s too late. The simple habit of tracking your spending can help you avoid such a situation.

Make no mistake: even if you earn much, not tracking your spending could easily lead you into financial trouble. One example is Michael Jackson. He was a great artist and left a great music legacy. We can all learn from his passion and dedication. But, just as with me and other people, there are also things from his life that we should learn not to do. One of them is in personal finance. Here is what The New York Times wrote about it:

“It’s all a mess,” said one executive involved in Mr. Jackson’s financial affairs who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of respect for the entertainer’s family. “No one really knows what is going on, but these are early days.”

It’s estimated that he had between $400 million to $500 million in debts.

But why did it happen? How could someone who earned so much have such a big debt? The New York Times article explained why:

“He never kept track of what he was spending. He would indiscriminately charter jets. He would buy paintings for $1.5 million. You couldn’t do that every other week and expect your books to balance.”

This is an important lesson for all of us. No matter how much you earn, if you don’t track your spending then your personal finance would be out of control. Tracking your spending is essential because it gives you awareness of your financial situation. It helps you see whether or not you spend less than you earn which is arguably the most important rule to follow in personal finance.

So, if you haven’t tracked your spending, today is the best day to start. You can use a spreadsheet or a personal finance application like Mint and Quicken. It does take some effort, but the financial awareness and control it brings far outweigh the effort. Furthermore, getting your financial life in order is a good way to also get other aspects of your life in order. Why? Because not only having good financial habits frees you from financial worries, but also it can develop positive attitudes like discipline and responsibility. These attitudes will affect other areas of your life beyond personal finance.

7 Tips to Work More Efficiently

Ever wish the day was 2 hours longer? In today’s society we are expected to do more and more, and no one is giving us any extra time to do it.

But what if someone could give you some extra time?

These 7 tips have all saved me hours each and every week. They are easy to implement and will help you put all your energy into the right tasks.

1. Plan your week

Often we say “Every minute spent on planning saves 10 minutes in execution” and we all know it is true. If you are prepared and know exactly what needs to be done, how to handle unexpected situations and what to do first, you will be a lot more efficient. But for some reason we never get around to it, it takes time, is a hassle and well, we are lazy.

The fact is that if you spend 1 hour every Monday morning planning your week, writing down everything that needs to be done, prioritizing the list by importance and then deciding what should be done on Monday, what on Tuesday and so on, you will save hours during the week.

2. Plan your day

Just like when planning your week, spending some time on planning your day makes a large difference. Before I started planning my days I would often spend a lot of time checking my email or just looking for something important to do.

Now that I know exactly what I need to do today, and in what order, I can work efficiently from morning till the end of the day and get much more done then I used to.

3. Batch your activities

Every time you start a new activity, it takes time. You have to get everything you need in order to do the task, you need to get into the mindset and you need a little “warm up time” during which you don’t work as fast as when you have done something for a while. Once you are done with the task, you have to put everything away, and “cool off”.

This means that every time you start a new activity a lot of time is wasted. If you can let the work of each task build up so that they will take at least 50 minutes to complete you will spend a lot more time “in the zone” working at your highest level of activity.

Email is a great example. Instead of updating your inbox every few minutes, only check in once or twice a day.

4. When at work, work!

One problem we all have is that we don’t like to work (usually). Whenever a chance to stop working comes a long we usually lunge at it. Like when a friend comes in to your office to exchange some words, we are glad to put everything away and talk a little, often we will join them to the coffee machine and talk some more, before you know it you have lost 30 minutes of your work day.

When at work, work! Just because you are at the office it doesn’t mean you are working. Do everything you need to do during the day and once it is finished you can start talking to people and spend the time with your family, instead of talking during the day while you feel stressed over all the things you “really” should be doing.

5. Finish every activity you start

Leaving an activity half finished is a big source of stress. Whenever something is only half done, it gnaws at you and stops you from focusing on other activities.

On the other hand, when you complete a task a rush of endorphins is released into your system making you happy, pleased and relaxed. It gives you the energy to go on and complete the next activity.

Use this, once you start something, finish it. Get the endorphin rush and channel the new energy into completing the next task, giving you another boost and so on.

6. Focus all your energy on the most important activities

The much quoted 80/20 rule states that 80% of the value you create in a day will come from 20% of the activities you perform. Meaning, if you complete those 20% you will have done much, much more than if you complete all the rest.

What if you could focus all your time on those 20%? You bosses would love you because you generate so much value to the company and you will be able to work less, because all the time you spend is so well spent.

Go through all the activities you perform and see which ones are the most important. Find ways to focus more time on them.

7. Take a break!

The best way to save time is by relaxing! To be able to work hard and efficiently, you need to be of sound mind and be able to focus. Take a break once in a while and go for a walk, drink a cup of coffee or take a nap.

Just don’t let the relaxation take too much of your time!

6 Tips for Eating Healthy on a Budget

The benefits of a healthy diet are undeniable. Unfortunately, following such a diet can be costly.

But for us frugal folk who seek a healthy lifestyle there is hope. With a few tips we can effectively stock our pantries with high quality, healthy foods without breaking the bank.

Before we get started, however, let’s take a look at what eating healthy consists of:

Keep your intake of heavily processed and junk foods to a minimum.
Be aware of the amount of calories you intake. Not saying you need to count every calorie, but ultimately it’s calories in versus calories out that determines weight gain/loss.
Drink plenty of water.
Limit foods high in refined sugars and saturated fats (avoid trans fats at all costs).
Eat a balanced diet meaning get a good variety of all the food groups, especially vegetables and fruits.
Ok, so you’ve got a general idea of how to eat healthy. Now, let’s get right to it and learn how to eat healthy on a budget.

1. Plan your meals

Plan out your dinners and lunches at least a week in advance and write out a grocery list. Don’t forget to include healthy snacks to the list as well. Preparing your own meals is a great way to save money and since you control what goes in the food it makes it easier to eat healthy.

2. Frozen vs. fresh

Frozen fruits and vegetables are usually a lot cheaper than any produce you’ll find in the fresh section of your supermarket. And contrary to popular belief, frozen fruits and veggies are just as healthy as their fresh counterparts. Furthermore, since their shelf life is a lot longer you typically won’t be throwing away as much either.

3. Pass the salt

A diet high in sodium can lead to a host of health problems later in life. Limit the amount of salt you intake by purchasing low-sodium and no-salt-added food items, which generally don’t cost anymore than regular items. And pass on the salt completely when preparing your own dishes.

4. Make extra

If you find it hard to find time to cook then try making double when you do cook and freeze half for a quick meal at a later date. You may even save some money if you can quickly reheat a meal as opposed to running to the nearest fast-food restaurant.

5. Growing your own

Drastically cut your produce prices by growing your own. Start a garden or plant your favorite produce items in pots on your patio for an inexpensive way to eat healthy all season long. You can even take it a step further and plant your favorite herbs in small pots in your kitchen window.

6. Look low for inexpensive items

I mean this literally. Many grocery stores purposely put the more expensive items at eye-level. So, look a little lower for the cheaper or generic brands and save a little money. Most stores also post the cost per unit on the shelf so look closely at this and see what the best deals are.

A few quick tips:

Buy in bulk
Use cheaper varieties of meats when preparing stews
Look out for the day-old bakery cart and clearance bins
When you must eat out, eat half and take the rest home for a quick meal later
Don’t buy pre-cut veggies, instead cut them yourself
These are just a few ways to get the most bang for your buck so to speak. But, here’s another way you will be saving money by eating healthy – future healthcare costs! Taking care of yourself now through proper diet and exercise may prevent cardiovascular and heart disease, diabetes and cancer which are four of America’s biggest killers.